Journal

Crises Of Confidence And Suicide Salarymen

Thus The Weekend

This is how I spent my weekend. Apart from a rather strange interruption that took up half of Saturday, I played a lot of FIFA 09, having a lot of fun with my created pro, who is now the captain of the Republic of Ireland. (After getting only two call-ups, in fact.)

I also did homework. I talked to people and probably mildly offended them when we couldn’t reach points of agreement. By that time, some response for homework had come in and I had apparently done a good job, which I suppose goes in the way of gratification since these group work things are matters of responsibility and positive feedback makes you feel not completely worthless.

Over the two nights, I dreamt of my romance, which has since died, of course, and (since I’m writing this on Sunday night) I think I’ll complete a hat-trick by dreaming of her again tonight.

Meanwhile, I’ve picked up the slack on Singapura and have been trying to find some focal point for it. So far it’s all either been fragments or broad ideas. I need something to anchor it. I’ve yet to find it.

At one point, I went back to some texts I love. I ended up suffering badly because sometimes, when you read something, you become instantly conscious of how terrible what you’re writing is. This is a frequent crisis that shows up every now and then. Sometimes you think no one is doing what you’re doing and you ought to have a good strong case for believing that you’re making something groundbreaking. Other times, you think no one is doing what you’re doing because it’s stupid. After all, none of the masters you (and others) revere do these silly things. You’re alone because you’re the clown in the fancy suit and everyone’s just laughing because that’s what they’re supposed to do.

But I can deal with those crises of confidence. It wouldn’t be the first time, surely.

Also, my sister dropped by yesterday. She took my MGS4 and I took her Uncharted. While this was happening, my PS3 stopped detecting my computer as a media server, which made me a bit sad.

Oh yes, and my dad has stopped working and is on a month of leave.

Of course I did other things, but that ought to give you a rough idea of how the weekend went by. Just like every other weekend. Also quite unlike every other weekend.

I’ve Been Playing

This. [via Armor Games] The term ‘karōshi’ is the one used to describe the sudden deaths of people who are overworked. This usually occurs because of heart failure or some other stress-related consequence.

On the other hand, the music is fantastic, and the last few stages are rather creative.

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© 2008 a modest odyssey.